No one was on the roller-coaster of emotions more than Peter. First, we hear his protest at the Last Supper: “You will never wash my feet.” Then in an immediate reversal: “Master, then not only my feet, but my hands and face as well.” (Jn 13:8-9) Right after that: “I will lay down my life for you.” (Jn13:37) Then a few hours later after falling asleep in the Garden, we are stunned to hear: “Then the maid who was the gatekeeper said to Peter, “You are not one of this man’s disciples are you?” Peter said, “I am not.” (Jn 18:17) Finally, Peter gets an idea of the horror of it all and the depth of his personal weakness: “He went out and he began to weep bitterly.” (Mt 26:75)
For Peter and the other disciples, it was a short tumble from total arrogance to total devastation. They who were longing for the gift of power and wealth, prestige and privilege, now were engulfed in shattered dreams and enveloped in fear and hopelessness. Slowly, they realized the events of the weekend had exposed them as losers for wasting three years of their life chasing an illusion. Now, there was a greater danger at their doorstep. They actually were facing the risk of prison, and maybe even losing their lives.
Crisis management did not give them much time to let the depth of their change in circumstances to sink in. Likewise, they were unable to see with any clarity the extent of their personal cowardice. Their incredible abandonment of Jesus was a shocking denial of three years of discipleship and intimacy at the feet of Jesus. Their journey of self-knowledge was undergoing a tumultuous invitation to new and alarming enlightenment.
Then, in the midst of the pain, the fear, the loss and utter confusion, they see Him and hear, “Peace be with you.” Jn 20:19.
They had a lot of experience with the upside down world of Jesus. However, nothing made them ready for this. In an instant, defeat and failure are now victory and triumph. Darkness is now light. Abandonment opens to embrace. Sin and denial are washed away in love, mercy and healing. Indeed, “Peace be with you.”
The Church is very wise to call us to ponder and pray about this awesome mystery of the Resurrection for the next seven weeks. There is a lot to take in.
If we are willing to dig deep enough, we gradually will see the story of our lives in the vulnerability of the disciples. We will see that we, like the disciples in the locked room, are being called out of the dominance and control of our fear and anxieties. We are being offered the most magnificent of all gifts in hope. We have before us the brilliant display of the mercy of God, “Whose sins you shall forgive are forgiven them”. (Jn 20:23) It is for this reason this Second Sunday of Easter is dedicated to remembering and celebrating the mercy of God.
The readings of this Second Sunday of Easter proclaim the presence of the risen Lord in the midst of the reign of fear, skepticism and apprehension. In this Easter feast Jesus comes to us with peace and healing. He offers us courage and unspeakable joy.
Like the disciples, we are loved in our brokenness. We are accepted in our weakness and sinfulness. Slowly, we will get a glimmer of the love Jesus has for us. It is without limit or condition. It is a treasure so rich and splendid that we can hardly begin to realize it. Whether we grasp it or not, the goal of our spiritual journey in life is to let the power and beauty of this love transform us into a new creation just as it did for the disciples.
Indeed, Christ is risen! Alleluia! When we let this Mystery penetrate the deepest reality of our being, nothing will ever be the same again. We need to be among those who believe and love Jesus even though we have not “seen” him. In him we have peace, hope and unspeakable joy. The wonder of God’s love is always there. We are invited to enter this love through our Easter celebration. We need to let the Alleluia bring us into the depth of God’s love, the true experience of Easter. May our Easter joy lead us to witness to draw others to the Alleluia of salvation.