This is the fourth of eleven reflections on Thomas Merton’s teaching on the True Self/False Self dynamic. This conflictual but enlightening relationship permeates Merton’s huge quantity of writing on the spiritual life. The basic point of the conflict is the individual’s pull toward and away from God, one’ true and ultimate destiny. Merton’s exposure of the consequences of original sin is ruthless in its intensity. This is the task of the False Self. At the same time, the pull of the True Self, the ever-present call of God’s personal and passionate love, is even more powerful. The human heart is the battlefield of this seemingly endless confrontation.
On the spiritual journey, most people have experiences of numerous conversions. These spiritual experiences vary in degrees of intensity and depth. One of the components of this conversion process is a surprisingly new awareness of how blind one had been to the demands of the gospel message.
I think many can relate to my lifetime encounters to the seemingly endless gospel call to inclusiveness. Growing up, I felt it was a sacrilege for girls to play sports. Likewise, the “colored people” had their own truly God-given neighborhood. Homosexuals and lesbians, for all practical purposes, just did not exist.
It has been a tumultuous trip for me moving away from the sexism, racism and homophobic attitudes that supported the dominance my false self. No doubt, I still have a long way to go in these major deceptions in our society.
In each of these deep prejudices, there were periods of conversion that included an eventual eye-opening reflection. It exposed the depth of the deviation from the gospel message that reigned in my heart. This is a clear example of Merton’s teaching on the passage to enlightenment and conversion as we move partially away from the False Self to the True Self. It is a long, difficult trek. Yet, there are many small, and even great, victories along the way. As we stay faithful to the struggle to walk with Jesus, God’s grace never forsakes us. The process in this life is always limited and unfinished and calling for more. Nevertheless, we are moving in the right direction as long as we do not succumb to apathy and neglect.
In the Gospel of Mark, we have a truly challenging example of this struggle of the darkness and the light in the False Self/True Self dynamic. All through his Gospel, Mark offers a particularly harsh portrayal of the Apostles. They are presented as a group that just do not get the message.
This approach in Mark is part of his insightful lesson on the complexity and the depth that authentic faithfulness to Jesus actually demands.
In the section of the Gospel (Mk 8:22-10:52) that is often referred to as “The Road to Jerusalem”, Jesus has three predictions of the Passion, Death and Resurrection. In each of these three segments there is a common structure.
This selection of Mark’s text begins and ends with the healing of a blind man. In the three Gospel segments, the blindness of the Apostles is shown in Peter telling Jesus that he did not have to suffer (Mk 8:32), the apostles arguing who was the greatest (Mk 9:34), and finally, James and John asking for the privilege of sitting at his right and left in the coming days of glory (10:35).
These are all examples of the power and influence of the False Self. These were good men who considered themselves deeply committed to Jesus. In their mind, they had left all to follow Jesus. Each day they listened to his teachings. They witnessed his healings. They shared the multiplied loaves and fish. They saw Jesus walking on the water. They experienced the overwhelming enthusiasm of the crowds. It is hard for us to overstate the intensity and immediacy of their experience of Jesus. Yet, they had a vision in harsh conflict with that of Jesus. This was never clearer than in the total abandonment in the Garden on that first Good Friday.
Mark was making it clear to us as readers of his Gospel that true faithfulness to Jesus is genuinely demanding. It calls for many experiences of further enlightenment even after we make an initial pledge to follow Jesus. There always is more. The blinding power of the False Self is acute and dominant. The demands of the True Self insist that we take Jesus’ teaching to heart. Here are some selections from this part of Mark’s Gospel.
Part One
On the spiritual journey, most people have experiences of numerous conversions. These spiritual experiences vary in degrees of intensity and depth. One of the components of this conversion process is a surprisingly new awareness of how blind one had been to the demands of the gospel message.
I think many can relate to my lifetime encounters to the seemingly endless gospel call to inclusiveness. Growing up, I felt it was a sacrilege for girls to play sports. Likewise, the “colored people” had their own truly God-given neighborhood. Homosexuals and lesbians, for all practical purposes, just did not exist.
It has been a tumultuous trip for me moving away from the sexism, racism and homophobic attitudes that supported the dominance my false self. No doubt, I still have a long way to go in these major deceptions in our society.
In each of these deep prejudices, there were periods of conversion that included an eventual eye-opening reflection. It exposed the depth of the deviation from the gospel message that reigned in my heart. This is a clear example of Merton’s teaching on the passage to enlightenment and conversion as we move partially away from the False Self to the True Self. It is a long, difficult trek. Yet, there are many small, and even great, victories along the way. As we stay faithful to the struggle to walk with Jesus, God’s grace never forsakes us. The process in this life is always limited and unfinished and calling for more. Nevertheless, we are moving in the right direction as long as we do not succumb to apathy and neglect.
The Road to Jerusalem
In the Gospel of Mark, we have a truly challenging example of this struggle of the darkness and the light in the False Self/True Self dynamic. All through his Gospel, Mark offers a particularly harsh portrayal of the Apostles. They are presented as a group that just do not get the message.
This approach in Mark is part of his insightful lesson on the complexity and the depth that authentic faithfulness to Jesus actually demands.
In the section of the Gospel (Mk 8:22-10:52) that is often referred to as “The Road to Jerusalem”, Jesus has three predictions of the Passion, Death and Resurrection. In each of these three segments there is a common structure.
- Jesus makes the prediction. The Apostles do not understand and do not accept the frightful possibility.
- In fact, they move in the opposite direction of Jesus’ statement. His message proclaims a Suffering Messiah. This was totally contrary to the Apostles hopes and ambitions. Their expectant future envisioned power, prestige and wealth.
- Finally, Jesus presents a short, clear teaching on the demands of conversion to the gospel message.
This selection of Mark’s text begins and ends with the healing of a blind man. In the three Gospel segments, the blindness of the Apostles is shown in Peter telling Jesus that he did not have to suffer (Mk 8:32), the apostles arguing who was the greatest (Mk 9:34), and finally, James and John asking for the privilege of sitting at his right and left in the coming days of glory (10:35).
These are all examples of the power and influence of the False Self. These were good men who considered themselves deeply committed to Jesus. In their mind, they had left all to follow Jesus. Each day they listened to his teachings. They witnessed his healings. They shared the multiplied loaves and fish. They saw Jesus walking on the water. They experienced the overwhelming enthusiasm of the crowds. It is hard for us to overstate the intensity and immediacy of their experience of Jesus. Yet, they had a vision in harsh conflict with that of Jesus. This was never clearer than in the total abandonment in the Garden on that first Good Friday.
Mark was making it clear to us as readers of his Gospel that true faithfulness to Jesus is genuinely demanding. It calls for many experiences of further enlightenment even after we make an initial pledge to follow Jesus. There always is more. The blinding power of the False Self is acute and dominant. The demands of the True Self insist that we take Jesus’ teaching to heart. Here are some selections from this part of Mark’s Gospel.
- “Whoever wishes to come after me must deny himself, take up his cross and follow me.” (Mk 8:34)
- If anyone wishes to be the first he shall be the last of all and the servant of all.” (Mk 9:35)
- “Whoever wishes to be great among you will be your servant…For the Son of Man did not come to be served but to serve and to give his life as ransom for many.” (Mk 10:43-45)















