When we pray regularly there is serious change in our heart. God is relentless. God always wants more. This is the why we come up with so many reasons we cannot pray. At the top of the list is time in one way or another: need to work, need to relax, need to be present to loved one, need to…. And also watch TV, football, shopping, politics etc. There are other reasons like being just to tired, sick and other heavy responsabilities. It all comes down to a question of determining what is important for us.Since God is so insistent, regular prayer will always bring us to the challenge of changing our lives. Prayer points out what God wants in way that confronts our blind spots. The nature of deep personal prayer is to draw us out of comfortable illusions and self-deceptions. The journey to the center and its encounter with loving God in prayer comes at a price. The issue of time and the other excuses hindering our prayer are rooted in a fear of moving away from our comfort zone.
Merton’s definition of prayer is yearning to be aware of the presence of God, knowledge of God’s Word and personal understanding of God’s will and the capacity to hear and obey. It is that last phrase “to hear and obey” that invites us out of our self-satisfaction in a movement from our head to our heart to our life. The measure of authentic prayer is always the quality of our life.
Here are a few examples of this inward transformation. Many families are caught in the trap of a destructively addicted member. Everyone suffers. AL ANON offers relief but it comes at a price of self-knowledge. One needs to lose the illusion of control. It also challenges the pattern of denial or being a victim. The simple acceptance of that one cannot change another person comes slowly and with personal sacrifice. The change in attitude, however, is life-giving. This is the sort of thing that God is always surfacing in our prayer: movement from death to life, from illusion to reality. It is an invitation to accept the Gospel values going beyond the word to authenticity.
When I was a priest for twenty years in the early 80’s I was confronted about my blatant prejudice against homosexuals. I fought it. I rejected it. I became angry but I prayed and eventually began a journey to acceptance and repentance.
What is common in both of these issues, one personal and the other social or cultural, is that often in prayer a matter is brought to our awareness but we resist it. However, it is now in play and if we pray regularly we have to work hard to avoid it. The change evolving from our “hearing and obeying” sometimes is a matter of days or months or years. God is patient but never stops calling us out of the darkness to the light.
The “hear and obey” of Merton’s definition of prayer is the encounter of our being with God’s word and will. This means personal transformation when we are open and accepting of God’s call. The message of the Gospel is sown in our heart. These seeds of new life are always looking for the opportunity to blossom.
This is the goal of prayer: to slowly but surely to create a new heart in the image of Jesus Christ. It is a gradual passage from self-absorption to self-giving.
For Teresa the “practice of prayer” was the serious pursuit of God. This involves all of our life. Teresa’s deliverance from mediocrity was the simple acceptance of reality. This acceptance involved herself, her world and God. This led her to highlight the importance of humility, detachment, and charity. These three virtues were fundamental to her program.
Humility was the acceptance of self as totally dependent on God. True self-knowledge leading to humility led her to accept both God’s love and her human limitations. Detachment was the ability to see things clearly. Her possessions either brought her closer to God or they were a road block on this journey. Charity was the ability to see and love others as God sees and loves them.
Her movement was from self-importance to humility. Attachments were her distorted use of things that then fragmented her heart. Some of these were seemingly innocent, some more destructive. All were obstacles to a commitment to prayer. At the top of the list of impediments to her quest for God in prayer was a heart rejecting both reconciliation and the needs of her brothers and sisters.
These three elements of humility, detachment and love of neighbor were the foundation and context of the “practice of prayer” for Teresa that led her to be a mystic and Doctor of the Church.
In the end, our commitment to pray daily will lead us to an acceptance of life through humility, detachment and love of neigbor. The discipline of finding a time and place to make prayer a non-negotiable part of our daily life will make us more comfortable accepting our brokenness in humility. The consequence of this regular conversation with someone we know loves us will guide us in putting things in the perspective that is freeing rather enslaving. The pilgrimage of self-discovery will lead to see our service and love of neighbor as the continuing encounter with the God of love at our center.
