John 9:1-41
Dear Friends. Once again we have a story of conversion from St. John on our Lenten journey. Jesus is the light of the world calling us out of the darkness of the blindness of the spirit.
I like to call this the Catholic way of conversion. Unlike last week where the Samaritan woman fought Jesus at every step until the final cave in, today’s blind man begins with the beautiful encounter with Jesus in the restoration of his sight.
Much to his surprise, the blind man had a ways to go. Each step was laden with obstacles that demanded a new decision and a stronger commitment to Jesus. He responds to the crescendoing inquiries and hostility by choosing Jesus at a deeper level each time. In verse (9:12) he says, “a man named Jesus.” In verse (9:17) he says, “He is a prophet.” Then in (9:38) he professes, “I do believe (in the Son of Man) and he worshipped him.”
St. Teresa of Avila’s story follows this pattern. She was a tepid and mediocre religious for twenty years. Basically, she let the dry rituals of convent life define her. Then she evolved with a transforming encounter with Christ. She moved from her head to the deepest recesses of her heart and discovered she was loved without condition or limit. This was only possible as she fought off the spirit-killing tentacles of religious life in her time. This was a religious life far removed from the fire and passion of the Jesus of the Gospels. Her consequent radical quest for transforming change was anchored in the growing awareness of the limitless mercy of God revealed in Jesus. Thus her mantra was, “Keep your eyes on Jesus.” In the process Teresa moved on the painful but joyful journey from being a pious nun to a glorious saint, a reformer of religious life and a Doctor of the Church.
I have a much more personal and simple story that follows the same pattern. One Sunday Mass in my fourth grade I received two hosts from the priest. Working out of my theological and cultural construct this evolved into the most traumatic moment in my life up to that point. I was sure l was going straight to hell if I swallowed the second host. I could not stop the Mass to give it back. Engulfed in fear and anxiety, I placed it on the side of my mouth with the hope of returning it to the priest in the sacristy after Mass. No such luck. It melted away. To my amazement the floor did not open to free my passage into the everlasting flames I was sure that awaited me.
At the end of the Mass I raced to the Monsignor to express my sorrow and innocence in the disaster of the two hosts. He said with a gentle pat on my head, “Ah boy, that’s no problem. Don’t you worry about it.”
That priestly encounter gave me a twenty year head start on Vatican II. I figured if they taught me so much fear of God, maybe I ought to look for a better program because that program had all but assured me I was seconds away from the everlasting fires of hell. It was pretty confusing for my quizzical fourth grade mind.
Like the blind man I was on the journey to meet Jesus in way different than what I had learned in the Baltimore catechism. I try to take the message of my Carmelite sister to “keep our eyes on Jesus” as I continue the journey of new and searching openness to the mystery that is Christ Crucified and Christ Risen.
In Christ.
