The importance of Self-Knowledge on the Christian journey
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Self-Knowledge and the Pursuit of God
The journey of self-knowledge is often described as moving from the false self to the true self. It is a new way of looking at ourselves, at others, and at the world. It is a transformation of consciousness.
The false self is entrenched in our exaggerated sense of self-importance, our illusions of grandiosity, the blindness of our prejudices and addictions, and, most of all, the unreality of our idols. Our heart creates many false centers in our attachments, the distorted use of God’s creatures. The heart becomes fragmented and flawed.
We tend to become blinded to our faults and failures. We emphasize the shortcomings of others. Jesus put it ever so clearly when he pointed out our blindness to the log in our eye rather than our stress on the splinter in our neighbor’s eye (Matthew 7:4–5). Self-righteousness rises to the front and center. As we become aware of the false values flowing from our fragmented heart, we come to a fork in the road.
We have a choice of life or death. We choose death when we double down on the clamoring of the false self. We choose life when we open ourselves to the mercy of God, which leads to the true self. At the heart of this encounter is the perennial challenge of knowing ourselves.
Self-knowledge Opens to God’s Mercy
Even the simplest things in life are often misled by the false self. Having the right kind of clothes, a nice home, the lifestyle of our proper state, and a good reputation are all potentially innocent choices. The false self has a field day refocusing these items to contribute to a deceitful vision of self-importance. People spend billions of dollars on advertising to encourage us to feed the exaggerated demands of the false self. The unending pulls of a consumer society are a singular and horrendous obstacle on the road to the true self. All these deviations work together to weaken, and even hide, the longing of the true self calling us to move on to the center for a more authentic life.
Here again, self-knowledge, an awareness of what is going on within us, is critical in the necessary conversion that comes when we hear God’s word and obey God’s will in prayer.
Teresa of Avila and the Mercy of God
For Teresa of Avila, the long search for self-knowledge led to two important facts that became the foundation of all her spirituality. First, she had a clear encounter with the false self, a distracted heart pulled in many directions leading away from God. In this fragmented heart she identified her sinfulness. More importantly, she slowly accepted her helplessness to change.
The second reality Teresa welcomed was this: she was loved and forgiven. She lived in a sea of mercy. This led Teresa to accept life rooted in her helpless sinfulness. At the same time, she experienced life immersed in the loving mercy of God. She was the creature caught in sin but a loved and forgiven child of God. God was the creator revealing his power in love and mercy.
Self-knowledge, Prayer, and Life
Teresa of Ávila was relentless in declaring the importance of self-knowledge for the spiritual journey, the journey to God in the center of our being.Well now, it is foolish to think that we will enter heaven without entering ourselves, reflecting on our misery and what we owe God and begging Him often for mercy. (THE INTERIOR CASTLE, 2.1.11)
For Teresa, prayer was the answer to almost all problems. Her notion of prayer was unrestrained. It takes place in the context of the relationship between God at the center and our life experience. In the interaction of these elements in prayer, self-knowledge has a pivotal role. The mystery of God unfolds in the dynamic of the person’s prayer and life experience. Self-understanding brings this process together. When we accept the reality of God’s place and our place, God’s mercy is the dominant issue. As she grew in self-knowledge, Teresa grew steadily more compelling in her oft-repeated conviction: “My life is the story of God’s mercy.”
As we grow in self-knowledge, we will celebrate our lives as immersed in the sea of God’s mercy. Self-knowledge will gradually bring us to embrace the wonder of this gift.
There is no better way to understand and enter into this relationship between God and ourselves than opening our hearts to Jesus and his call. Deep personal prayer will follow.
