John 20:19-31
It was a truly fatal weekend for the disciples, a devastating seventy-two hours from the washing of the feet on Thursday to the visit of the Risen Christ on Sunday evening. Of course, Peter led the way in the trauma department.
He was a living poster child of the weeds and the wheat, of sin and grace. Wash my feet! Never! Then my hands and face also! I will be willing to die rather than deny you! I do not know the man! Peter “went out and wept bitterly.” (Lk.22:62) “The doors were closed in the room where the disciples were, for fear of the Jews.” (Jn 20:1) It was a short trip from total arrogance to total devastation.
Fear and pain had shattered their dreams. Slowly, they realized the events of the weekend not only exposed them as losers for wasting three years of their lives chasing what now appeared to be a delusional ambition. At this moment, they were in danger of doing time in prison and maybe even losing their lives. Fear was a very reasonable response to their tormenting and alarming circumstances.
The urgency of crisis management did not give them much time to let the depth of their loss sink in. Likewise, they were unable to see with any clarity the extent of their personal cowardice in their flight and rejection after three years of intimacy at the feet of Jesus. Self knowledge does take a long time!
Then, in the midst of the pain, the fear, the loss and utter darkness and confusion they see Him and hear, “Peace be with you.” (Jn 20:19)
They had a lot of experience with the upside down world of Jesus. However, nothing prepared them for this. In an instant, defeat and failure are now victory and triumph. Darkness is now light. Abandonment leads to embrace. Sin and denial are washed away in love and mercy. Indeed, “Peace be with you.” It would take a long time for the consequences of this overwhelming experience to sink in.
The story continues in Acts to show us this frightful group of very ordinary broken men as transformed and fearless proclaimers of the gospel. Driven by joy and faith, they set the Church on its 2000 plus years of announcing and celebrating the Risen Christ.
No wonder the Church invites us to ponder and pray about this awesome mystery of the Resurrection for the next seven weeks. There is a lot to take in.
If we are willing to dig deep enough, we gradually will see the story of our lives in the vulnerability of the disciples. We will see the dominance and control of our fear and anxieties In the ordinary flaw of human events our fears are many. Personally, we are apprehensive about the fragile love with our closest relationships. Physically, among many threats, we see gun violence creeping ever closer to all of us. Likewise, Mother Nature is usually the leading story on the nightly news. If we are reasonable, we need to fear the ravages of climate change. Fear of aging can be denied for only so long. We are always anxious about the loss of our possessions. Each of us can add to the list.
An important part of the glorious Easter message is, “Be not afraid!” This command is spoken to us over three hundred times in the Scriptures but never more gloriously in the words of the Risen Savior in today’s gospel text.
Indeed, Christ is risen! Alleluia! When we let this glorious mystery seep into the depths of our heart, nothing will ever be the same again.
It is no wonder this is the day we so fittingly celebrate the mercy of God. Like the disciples, we are loved in our brokenness. We are accepted in our weakness and sinfulness. Slowly, we will get a glimmer of the love Jesus has for us. It is without limit or condition. The mercy of God is a treasure we can hardly grasp. No matter how gradually we seize this treasure, the goal of our spiritual journey in life is to let the power and beauty of this merciful love transform us. Just like the disciples, we are called to be a new creation. We are called to be the people of the Alleluia!
